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  1. Rating: ★★★★★ Brilliant. Unlike some people, you actually mastered physical sensations; I don't have to guess where the character is. That was a selling point. Keep going! ☁

    1 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 23/03/2012

  2. You have a lot of places to improve. Your sentance structures aren't too good, and sometimes you have very long sentances without punctuation, which makes people skim. Bland description is another thing, as is dialogue. Make...

    3 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 16/07/2010

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