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  1. ...and waited. For a few seconds nothing stirred, but after a moment the yellowish light of the living room filtered through the drawn curtains of the front window , and the door swung open.

    4 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 27/02/2009

  2. ...school at either time and isn't dawn grey, then the sky fades to blue later in the day? I also can't imagine it being dawn at 4...

    2 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 08/09/2011

  3. .... [Again, filtering . Look for a quick lesson at...cobblestone streets. The windows were cracked and....], but dim lights still shone from inside...

    2 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 25/03/2012

  4. It's great! BUT! Almost every sentence starts with 'I' and is relatively boring. I honestly didn't want to keep reading once I noticed that, but I did and now am glad that I did...

    3 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 05/12/2012

  5. ... on here! A few grammatical things: -"Damp morning light " doesn't sit well with me. Much as I can imagine the morning...

    2 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 17/05/2012

  6. It's good and well written, although some of the wording is a little cliche. For example, I've heard many different variations of the line 'icy shards that pierced her skin'.

    3 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 25/05/2012

  7. I like this piece of writing a lot because it has mystery, action, fear, passion, love all bound up in one neat package. There are three things I would point out. One; it would be very difficult to decapitate someone swiftly with a knife. Two; you start a...

    4 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 05/04/2012

  8. Use paragraphs.

    6 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 12/11/2013

  9. From this extract, I assume it is the first chapter. It is actually really interesting, and engaging. I am assuming this is a first draft, as it still would need more work. You don't need to say reality...

    3 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 24/10/2012

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