I don't really have time to read right now, but Scarlet... for a boy? I'll edit later. ~Nicole.xx
9 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 28/08/2009
Repetition, lots of it. You don't have to describe EVERY little detail going on... Most major actions suggest that the minor ones had already been done. Being laconic would help you build up suspense, get your...
5 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 22/08/2009
They "accidentally" dropped some Tongue Toffee that made his tongue swell hugely and he started choking on it.
8 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 09/04/2010
HARRY POTTER RIPOFF!!! DAT SUNDS LIEK LOAD VOLDEMROT!!!!! IT STILL RELY GOOD THO!
7 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 27/08/2009
The details are really good, there is just enough suspense to where i would want to continue reading it, and so much so that i can see it in my head, however, how old is the main character, Scarlet? and maybe instead of saying, "He flopped to...
3 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 30/09/2009
That is adorable and original. You should see about getting it published. =)
2 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 26/09/2010