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  1. This is very good and it does make me want to read on (although a better ending... readers' attention. I really like your use of imagery and phonetics. I'm not too sure, but I think this is one of the...

    2 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 26/08/2013

  2. ...39;t like about her is the "adored by friends and bullied by haters" section. It gives ...

    7 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 19/03/2011

  3. I love it. It's very descriptive and realistic. I like your word use — particularly the tumbling, ...

    3 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 07/01/2012

  4. wow... i want to know what happens, definitely got my attention.... it does need a little proofreading for grammatical mistakes, but it sounds good to me. let me know how it goes :)

    6 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 21/06/2008

  5. It's definitely intriguing. I personally don't love the whole "fair maiden from the palace" background...but that's just me. I know plenty of teens who enjoy that besides. It's pretty indepth with detail...not all of that is really necessary in my...

    11 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 21/08/2009

  6. ...out like a beam of light, only some was not hidden by the dark dress and cloak wrapped around her slight frame" is a little ...

    6 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 09/02/2009

  7. Not bad, but I feel the dialogue was a little cliche. You're trying to make a serious moment with the later part, but it feels thrown off somehow... I guess I can't explain it too well, but it just feels a little over...

    3 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 20/06/2008

  8. I see you and think that you are such a beautiful pearl We always loved to eat the chocolate chip swirl When I was younger you would give me twirl

    4 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 11/05/2009

  9. ...destiny, after they're dead...? Why do you find all these children, and not all of them be yours? What exactly happens with...

    3 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 10/01/2013

  10. ...can see is to watch out for "ing" verbs and try to replace them with "ed" when possible...really will boost your word count. Think of " and " as something used for summary. It's just...

    4 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 07/09/2010

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