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  1. ...comma needed here) a flag on a *POLE swaying in the rushing winds" --"Cold... old and had one (no comma needed) morning collapsed on itself." --"...

    3 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 08/01/2011

  2. ...more smooth round rocks. The early morning sun was already high in the sky, spreading warmth across the land. The ... surface. The tall trees swayed in the gentle summer breeze, their ...

    7 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 07/01/2012

  3. It works. The only real issue is the opening paragraph. You know, it's ... don't know. No, actually I do know. It's the run-on sentences. They mess up the rhythm of the text, and since you...

    1 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 21/02/2013

  4. I won't read the rest. There is nothing grabbing me and making me want to. You should try to stay in the same tense.

    2 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 23/10/2011

  5. ... the foot of the staircase. Something was moving on one side of the tree. And her favorite ornament, her glass mermaid, was swaying in a ghostly light. Becca's mermaid was going to come alive...

    1 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 04/07/2012

  6. ... need to work on your grammar especially in the areas of punctuation and spelling. The ... as if it was trying to obliterate the city in one gust."- The sentence is creative, but...

    4 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 11/11/2012

  7. ... few niggles below: The black limousine, glistening in the early morning summer light, pulled into the driveway, as the neighborhood went on with ...

    2 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 27/03/2013

  8. ... too much of it. Just in the first paragraph, you've ... reeds that gently swayed along side the Nile became dry, as the morning went on, and even the Nile...

    7 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 11/03/2010

  9. ... handy. You seem to know how to spell, but lack slightly in only a few things. Having the dictionary around will make you look even better (more educated), because...

    9 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 19/09/2006

  10. ... name stallions gallop not sway . Why is Jaya at... insecurites come from the lack of attention shown by ...? Are they living in the hood or somewhere on the fringes...

    7 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 24/01/2009

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