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...on the top floor--a small living room, a small dining room, a small bedroom and a bath. The living room was crowded to the doors with a set of tapestried furniture entirely too large for...

... got rid of our dining table and bought a huge set of bookcases for the dining room added a table and sofa - one instant library! I did get a smaller table for the conservatory where we now eat! Read so many books in...

I just scanned a small portion, because I really don't feel like reading all if it. ...

Don t start out a story discribing your perfectly beautiful character for a paragraph. No one cares. Start with action, or a thought, something relevant. You need to get a scene going here. Movement, Dialogue, etc.

this has a good story line. would like to read more.

i like the part where they are all fighting over the ice cream. but why is the prologue so soon? other than that and a few grammatical mistakes i thought it was good. it would be cool to build off of it.

...own silver service with them — a set of bejeweled silverfish-...out the necessary papers in a small room adjacent to the hallway connecting the kitchen with the dining room serving the banquet in progress...

Whenever I read beginnings on here, I think as I'm clicking "Will it be a chase scene, a description of weather or will it be a character waking up?" Those three things are incredibly cliche ways of...