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  1. A strange underground lair filled with lace, strange devices, and chemicals... for a while there, I thought you found Bill Cosby's basement.

    3 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 23/07/2015

  2. hi there ...i love your characters by the way so i have diff ideas for each character Hank=i imagine him being in the middle of a football game and the crowd is cheering him on (quarterback) the team makes another touchdown and then its...

    3 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 12/05/2012

  3. If you were to start in the classic manner, and the way that I find to be suspensive, you would open with the villain(s) planning something and threatening to do something bad, and then Amedisys to react by considering pooling these super people together. It's...

    4 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 21/05/2012

  4. i would modify and sort out the format, it's just two giant paragraphs.;_ylt=AgsL27hiCaCLsLWJkpnXf0bsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20100702133222AAiMB0v

    3 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 01/09/2010

  5. First of all vary your paragraphs, don't allow words to get too bunched up into one gigantic compilation of ideas. Especially after each person speaks, you should begin a new paragraph; It makes the piece a lot less visually...

    3 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 06/07/2010

  6. Wow. That is REALLY good. Please write more. The prologue was great, and it really drew me in. The entire thing drew me in, I couldn't stop reading. I do have a suggestion, though. You...

    3 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 22/03/2010

  7. It seems to me like you have a great idea, but then get sidetracked trying to explain that idea. For example:"The man slowly closed the door upon entry as not to create a loud noise" and "he removed his sunglasses which had...

    2 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 25/07/2010

  8. You asked to edit completely, so here goes! :D There are a few grammatical errors. Firstly, a new line of speech by a new speaker should always go on a new line (wow, I say 'new' a lot). I also noticed that you tend to write in an odd...

    3 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 24/03/2010

  9. the opening gives way too much set you need to work it in as you tell the story not just in a chunck like that...grammer needs alot of work most publishers wouldnt even look at it without those changes being made...interesting concept could be a really good story

    3 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 28/02/2010

  10. I like it. That's something I'd pay money for. (if it was a book and a bit longer) Send it off to the publishers and keep writing!

    4 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 27/01/2008

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