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  1. Ok. That actually sounds pretty good. Yeah, check your punctuality and the tense seems to change throughout. When you bring up the idea of zombies, mention something to make them more believable. Somehow.

    2 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 14/12/2013

  2. Confined to a life indoors because of a medical condition that causes sunlight to burn her skin, Charlotte Bright has never experienced anything the world has to offer. Shortly after her 17th birthday she loves...

    3 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 22/08/2012

  3. You have spelling errors|: because he condition. I would have thought the use of paragraphs was pretty obvious, and correct grammar. If you don't know get a grammar guide, I use one all the time. You tell and lot of backstory, which isn't important...

    2 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 15/01/2013

  4. First of all, understand that if a condition is "unknown" then nobody knows what it is. Anyone who can read will get that. Secondly, there is a condition that has been known about for a very long time that has to do with...

    4 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 23/08/2012

  5. Hi! I'm Rosy-Blue (yes, yes, the yahoo name is ancient) and I'd love to edit your work! I promise there is nothing I require in return. It's just that I need some writing to edit that isn't to scientific. I help...

    1 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 15/01/2013

  6. I would start by asking yourself questions, such as: How would you feel if ___ happened? For example, for this story you could ask at the beginning: How would you feel if you were confinded to your house for seventeen years...

    1 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 22/08/2012

  7. This is amazing, I can't believe that this is someone's imagination,and not a true story. It's all so real,deep and emotional. I really hope that this becomes a real book, it would be a national best-seller.

    1 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 09/09/2011

  8. I really really really like this. around the part where you described the two people, and a little after that, i was thinking "well this is similar to twilight" but i think some editing will soon get rid of that. but watch your conventions: eg...

    3 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 06/02/2009

  9. I do like your story. It got and kept my attention. However, I don't know anyone who would pick up a hitchhiker, much less one carrying an axe! I would make sure the man gave Jason a reason Why he had an axe...

    5 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 14/12/2009

  10. You should read this article on publishing since you appear to be a serious writer. You should publish it. If you're serious here's a great article on publishing that's very good. http://bookpublishing.suite101.com/article.cfm/becoming_a_published_author

    4 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 22/04/2009

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