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  1. ... things in there randomly. Scary music playing , two songs switching back and forth ... do you know she was holding the knife in her hand? Maybe somebody stuck...

    5 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 27/10/2010

  2. ...nightmare on Elm Street." He played a main characters boyfriend, and one of ..., whether you do it yourself with a knife or a professional tattoo artist. One of Depp...

    3 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 30/05/2008

  3. ... it as a human shield. The bullets would hit the man’s dead body instead of him." I feel...momentary lack of vision, Roy lunged with the knife and slashed him on the cheek then on the leg...

    1 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 18/11/2011

  4. Oh my god! OH MY GOD I love it! The only thing is that the first paragraph is a little jumpy

    2 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 14/01/2014

  5. ...blood, bloodshed, butchery, carnage, crime, death, destruction, dispatching, felony, foul play , hit *, homicide, knifing , liquidation, lynching, manslaughter, massacre, off*, offing, one-way ticket, rub out...

    2 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 24/07/2012

  6. Writing uses a different language from speaking. "The man was waiting, wasn’t he? " Has problems typical of this whole excerpt.It is a spoken convention, not a written one, not a narrative one. "sure...

    1 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 24/02/2012

  7. You're going to put it up on fictionpress? Okay. That's just an online community of people who like to write. There is no "good enough." It's whatever you want to stick up there. Now, if you're under the assumption some publisher will come...

    4 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 16/12/2013

  8. "A man, some of which you may know, wearing a black tunic, and having demonic red eyes, came into a building, holding a limp, green clothed body." Too many commas! Get rid of the comma between building and...

    4 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 12/05/2009

  9. ... simply lie upon the bed while he/she killed them with a knife ? That simply would not happen; they'd awaken and struggle with him, and...

    2 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 13/01/2009

  10. WOW! I know you didin't want this type of feed back, BUT! THIS IS SOO GOOD YOU DONT NEED TO CHANGE ANYTHING!! SOLID EFFORT! And no, you're fighting...

    2 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 24/06/2011

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