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  1. Study the master of free verse...ee cummings: Example... I...of-sleep. wields easily the pale club of the wind and swirled justly souls of flower strike the air in utterable coolness...

    4 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 27/05/2013

  2. ...daub the palette of my life"). Held forever in the form of unmoving swirling color (Try: "still and swirling color". Sounds ...

    4 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 28/02/2011

  3. I liked it a lot. This is the best I have seen from you in quite some time. It was written with a clear pupose and outline, and from there the plot progressed with use of adequate imagery and alliteration. The only thing is...

    5 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 04/10/2014

  4. whoosh swoosh is my favourite part

    2 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 26/02/2009

  5. ... absence of dark, of mourning The swirling of my mind Once again slows its... the head’s stopped it’s wandering Free , from the world at last

    4 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 19/01/2012

  6. yes very good

    2 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 04/03/2010

  7. I love it just the way it is! It sounds natural and that sort of adds to the purity/innocence of the meeting. I also like the lack of detail - it's simple and uncomplicated (mirroring the simplicity of the moment) And also the stressing of particular...

    5 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 01/04/2010

  8. Its wonderful you should get some published and you never know you could be as good as William Shakespeare and Pam Ayres, go for it, i recommend you publish them at authorhouse thats a good publishers i got my first...

    3 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 27/09/2008

  9. ...countless miles, drifting east above the world, whirling about in a swirling free - for-all, appearing aimless, just like love, but sensing, seeking...

    1 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 02/06/2013

  10. jo is wise. I agree. This is pretty good. You did use the cliches a little too much, "Just around the Bend" is another. The good news is; you told your story without rambling on...

    4 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 14/04/2010

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