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  1. The idea is awesome so far, i'm going to give you some grammar tips though, make longer paragraphs, and dialouge has " " not ' '. Don't over use Parker's name also (Don't use anything really repetitively unless...

    1 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 31/03/2013

  2. Well it's really good, but confusing. I had a hard time telling which person was which and the 'Lt.' Was kind of lazy writing. It's much better than the things I normally read on here, but you should...

    2 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 28/09/2012

  3. Travis, What you’re doing in your work is what is called ‘telling’ not ‘showing.’ You go through each paragraph ‘telling’ the reader step by step what’s happening. Travis, don’t let someone tell...

    4 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 10/09/2012

  4. I found what I thought were near-perfect matches. Hope you like 'em :P Nina Rojas - Scarlet Johansson Jake Reed - Daniel Radcliffe Richard...

    6 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 18/07/2012

  5. It's very good :) The descriptions are very detailed and I can envision everything perfectly. Better yet, the descriptions don't seem forced. They fit in well and it flows smoothly. You're a very talented...

    5 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 09/06/2012

  6. It has potential :) What you need to work on is the punctuation and grammar- mainly setting your story out into paragraphs so it is easier to read. Also start a new line when a new person begins to talk. And what you...

    2 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 04/03/2012

  7. This is a delightful story, and one that you must have been a part of, to know everything that well. I adore MREs, and, of course never have that many. But the ones I did have put a tad of weight on me....how so???

    5 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 25/12/2011

  8. Hello again. Based on your last piece of writing, this is MUCH better. Very good improvement, and I didn't need to force myself as much. Nice sensory details. However, your grammar is...

    3 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 15/12/2011

  9. ..., blunt sixteen year old. Light brown skin, dark brown hair. Hates being wrong. During one of... was caught almost immediately by a sergeant, but he brought her along. But he wasn...

    6 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 09/12/2011

  10. Do you write well? When you woke up in the tent and went outside, was that the first time you saw daylight? Did you arrive at the camp at night?

    2 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 02/08/2011

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