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  1. You're right, this must be the worst part. So many grammar mistakes! Some adults and the loners in school thought he was a very popular and successful boy. Other adults and popular kids thought he...

    5 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 15/06/2009

  2. It is an exposition, you set up the story. Now you should focus on going back and editing. Add some more detail, more description of the settings and what Carlos looks like. One suggestion I have is maybe you could start with the...

    1 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 09/02/2014

  3. Wow, you write very well. I enjoyed the rather vivid descriptions you offered at the beginning of the letter; however, some sentences, such as this, "Corrupt motives fill the sterile air...." seems a little...

    1 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 28/03/2011

  4. If you are feeling this depressed, you should get help. Whatever mess you are in, believe me, it gets better. Things can get better, you don't HAVE to be alone! Call a hotline, find a pen-pal. Do...

    1 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 07/04/2012

  5. The only thing I want to point out is: "On the evening of the death, Ama clutched tightly onto her pillow." It may be better as: "On the evening of HER GRANDMOTHER'S death...

    1 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 06/03/2011

  6. If you want to be a serious writer you need to finish something before starting something else. If you were in the 'zone' of writing you wouldn't be all over the place with other stories. Get a notebook and jot down ideas for other manuscripts but keep...

    7 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 09/12/2011

  7. Not bad necessarily, but inexperienced. This reads like someone who has only recently started writing fiction. Good writing doesn't just magically happen; it takes years of practise and hard work. If you're...

    6 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 07/05/2013

  8. I luv ur story!! can u liek send it to me when ur finished?? Okay so the Q, Maybe you could make the teacher and Nicole bondd then the teacher betrays her and is actually a dark evil angel (white wings but a dark heart) then they could have some...

    7 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 25/08/2009

  9. Style wise? It's alright. A bit too prosy at places, but alright. It will get better. Critique? First off, too much telling, in two types. First, obvious, all out telling : In this world, they...

    6 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 06/09/2011

  10. Hi Darling! It's taken me a while to answer to this. You see, you have already received great advice, and I don't think I could do it any better. The one thing I want to say is: Is Ross a boy or...

    6 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 21/03/2011

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