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  1. ... isn't the story moving in any direction. It's kind of swirling around a drain. Put a little engine on your story's boat and go, go...

    2 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 24/03/2014

  2. I love the imagery you use in this, the key is to put a movie inside the reader's head haha and the amount of descriptiveness you used was great. The only thing I would say is that you should combine your sentances more, where there could have been...

    3 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 22/03/2014

  3. honestly, just Parker would work in my opinion. its simple, you can relate it to his friends calling him that because maybe e played a sport at some point. it would work for the tough guy persona and maybe late on in the story she can call him ethan to show the...

    5 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 10/03/2014

  4. ... hid under a bleak veil of grey, declining into swirling mist set against the shadowy tree tops and an abandoned highway we ...

    3 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 10/03/2014

  5. Joker, Thor, Bouncer, Wicked, Smokey, Tiny, Wolf, Spider, Sluggo, Popeye, Razor, Jaw, Psycho, Loco, Evil, Menace, Trouble, Zorg...

    4 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 08/03/2014

  6. The green eyes are cliche, try brown. The description doesn't necessarily make a character cliche, the personality does.

    2 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 06/03/2014

  7. escalate. Butterflies exploded into flight like a kaleidoscope of swirling color across the meadow... There I was, even in height with the mountain...

    3 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 11/03/2014

  8. Hey, Maybe you can turn it around and start with... ‘I've always been a positive girl, what happened?’ and then maybe change the context of it like this; I stared at my reflection through the water in the toilet. I shook my head in disgust...

    4 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 22/02/2014

  9. Where There's a Quill, There's a Way View To a Quill Quill's Night Out Where Quill You Go Next? Quilliam Tell

    6 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 07/04/2014

  10. Yes (and not too clear either. Is the ghost a dead person or a city? I didn't get the first sentence, and then I stumble over lots and lots of adjectives, so, yes, very purple.)

    3 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 27/02/2014

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