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  1. ... the weight of Rasler’s chin upon her head, and her mouth...natural muskiness, only added to the sweet smell. His scent carried...and swayed with the rhythm of the music. “It’s been a long time...

    1 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 11/01/2010

  2. These 101 ways are quite nice. However, I'm sure that there are at least 1000 more ways to say "I love you." The ways are limitless, just like love.

    22 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 14/09/2006

  3. The imagery is good, but the rhyming sounds forced, like you are trying too hard.

    1 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 17/03/2009

  4. Brown hair, possibly British, wears glasses from time to time (thick frame, rectangular), girl-next-door type, individualized, round face that slightly peaks near the chin, observant and obviously intelligent.

    1 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 22/07/2010

  5. It's kinda stiff and lacks fluidity in it. It's also a bit cliched and could be borderline Mary Sue-ish. You have a lot of adverbs. Remember, you want to show, not tell your story. You also rush things and don't really take the...

    11 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 31/12/2010

  6. ...towards or away from them. He just stood there mutedly, his chin tucked into his chest, his eyes downcast. And ...

    6 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 02/07/2008

  7. its pretty good i like the fact that you show a lot of imagry. i would read this book i feel as if the girl is about to embark on some sort of adventure where she'll learn more about herself . it'll be a good book when finished. I would read it. keep writing! robin

    2 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 22/06/2009

  8. You need to read more and, after about 10 years of doing that, you might think about writing a shopping list. Because this is truly awful. Rambling, unfocused, banal, pointless and extremely badly written. Go and read the Bronte's.

    1 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 07/11/2010

  9. I would. It captured my interest. Actually you Chapter one Dreaming of Dragons captured my interest. I think it depends on the person and what they like. So for me i would read on but...

    4 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 15/01/2013

  10. 1) No proper indention(paragraphs) 2) No balancing of show & tell 3) Overwhelming dump of information(hence, the "show & tell" is unbalanced) ----> I think I want to become an author when I grow up, so I started...

    6 Answers · Arts & Humanities · 28/03/2011

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